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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28274064">Blood Lust</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/occultclysms/pseuds/occultclysms'>occultclysms</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Jack the Ripper Inspired, M/M, Medical School, Multi, Murder, Square: And They Were Roommates, Square: Blood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:54:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28274064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/occultclysms/pseuds/occultclysms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>❝ I'm a genius, and that's<br/>what makes me crazy ❞</p><p>or where Jaehyun is a genius that is gradually drawn to the concept of murder, eventually obtaining an addiction he refers to as blood lust.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>THE COLLECTION</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. THE WANT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello ! PLEASE READ ME</p><p>each chapter will have specific content warnings on them because most things are only in one chapter if i follow my outline which who knows if i will so </p><p>CWS; needles (medical), blood mention, scar mention, past abuse mention, vaguely referenced homophobia (it's between the lines)</p><p>also this should be updated every wednesday and if it isn't then well-- . writing is hard guys</p><p>also also this idea came from my friend who i've since my wattpad days and is partially the reason i'm a writer at all so if you see this hi !</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The silence is overwhelming, only broken up by the clinking of metal on metal. There’s footsteps down the hall here and there, but overall it’s only Jaehyun and Yuta. Yuta sits on a metal examination table and glances around, as if trying to catch a glimpse at some of the med students which walk through the halls. The lab room is empty with the blinds drawn, making Yuta’s face look almost sickly under the LED lights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really didn’t think this would be the beginning of my post high school life,” Yuta says, voice lighthearted and airy, a complete opposite to the pristine and scientific space around them. He laughs and shakes his head, still swinging his feet a bit. Jaehyun tears the needle out of the IV starter kit packaging and tries to ignore Yuta’s movements. As a med student, he can’t help but prefer for the people he’s working with to be still. It allows for him to be more precise, after all. “Then again, I didn’t really have a plan to begin with, so it could have been a lot worse.”  There’s something unspoken there. Something happened to Yuta that almost sent him down a completely different path. Jaehyun has always been good at reading in between the lines.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess getting poked a hundred times in the arm by nursing students who don’t really know what they are doing isn’t as bad in that sense,” Jaehyun agrees with a smile. He understands the need to seem approachable by patients even though he gets nothing out of smiling personally. Setting the 22 gauge needle, Jaehyun admires the way it shines under the lights. Where Yuta looks sickly, the needle looks perfect. Just the way it was designed to be. Though a 22 gauge wouldn’t be the same needle size for giving real IVs-- smaller needle means less fuck ups-- it’s still beautiful to Jaehyun. Jaehyun places the needle onto the gray paper-like material that rests next to Yuta and spares a look at said patient for the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very true.” Yuta nods. He’s slightly hunched over with his hands pressed into the pristine metal to support himself. Jaehyun slips on a pair of gloves, his favorite style ones in a perfect sky blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to get to your forearm so find a comfortable way to let me inject you.” That’s not normally what they do, but Yuta has been through this more times than they can count and a slightly different angle is good practice anyway. Yuta extends his arm out and rests his elbow down right on the edge of Jaehyun’s sanitary square. He doesn’t like the fact that Yuta is touching it, but now he can see his forearm perfectly and it’s pressed flat which makes it easier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many times do you think we’ll have to do this until we’re trusted with a real patient?” Yuta asks. Medical school seems like it drags on forever, and Jaehyun is well aware of Yuta’s feelings, having felt many of the same ones throughout his time here. But they are making progress through school and eventually really will become doctors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Knowing the kinds of importance these things hold in the medical field, I would guess at least a thousand more,” Jaehyun admits. The idea of having to do this only for practice a thousand times makes him sag and feel as old as this very building, but it will all be worth it. He breaks open the tube of betadine before cleaning off the inside of Yuta’s arm. His vein is prominent which makes Jaehyun’s job easier, and he almost wants to thumb over the little scars from all the previous times that they’ve done this. But he doesn’t, and insteads finishes cleaning the skin and drops the wipe into the trash can next to the metal examination table. “Ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve only done this a thousand times and I’ll do it a thousand more; I’m ready.” Jaehyun chuckles at that. His lab coat still smells like bleach, but he ignores that to pull on his gloves a final time, making sure everything is perfect. “You have a steady hand though so I wouldn’t worry. As you can see, there’s a few idiots in our class that like to practice on me after drinking espresso.” Jaehyun’s tongue darts out to lick his lips. He certainly sees the scars and point blank, he’s surprised Yuta noticed his lingering eyes at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun doesn’t reply as he preps the saline, the tourniquet is already tied on Yuta’s upper arm to make his veins really pop. This feels almost like breathing at this point with how often Jaehyun does it. But that’s by design after all. He should be able to do all the skills of a doctor without thinking, only that white noise background running on repeat in his mind. He takes in Yuta before pushing the needle in. Despite the sickly look from the lights, he’s quite handsome. From his eyes to his freshly ruffled hair to his perfectly pink lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After this, I’m heading back to my dorm,” Yuta begins. He looks at the needle resting next to his arm with curiosity like he hasn’t seen and done this procedure before. “I don’t have any classes this evening and it’s starting to get dark. Are you headed anywhere?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun doesn’t know if Yuta is hitting on him, making light conversation or about to ask for a favor, maybe even all three, but he doesn’t particularly care for discussion that doesn’t revolve around school. Call him old fashioned or whatever, but all that matters to him in the next few years is graduating with the best grades possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Back to my apartment,” Jaehyun replies. Yuta stayed late for him so he won’t be an asshole, but he doesn’t want to linger on this subject. He pushes the air out with the saline in the tube and finishes the last thing before the IV is ready. Jaehyun has the target vein in mind already and hovers over it before pushing it in. “Thanks for helping me with this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a problem,” Yuta mumbles, his gaze trapped on his own arm. Jaehyun doesn’t even need to look at him to know that that’s what he’s doing. Some people are simply fascinated by the human body and Jaehyun is one of them-- and he knows when he’s around someone else like him. “Gives me an excuse to procrastinate studying for my midterms. Do you even need to study for those? You’ve corrected the professor on more than one occasion.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A muscle in Jaehyun’s face twitches for several reasons. He’s a personal believer that anyone in higher education should put their all into their degree regardless of what it is, so Yuta’s procrastination doesn’t particularly rub him the right way. He also doesn’t like the idea that he’s somehow above studying for tests. While he may not need to review as much as other students, he still wants to make sure he’ll ace it. And he doesn’t need to be sucked up too. Yuta doesn’t need to remind him that their professor is a bit outdated on a few things here and there. Jaehyun is already aware.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes thoughts come into Jaehyun’s mind. They break the bubble of white noise, but it’s never something benign like Jaehyun needs to buy groceries or that he has an assignment due tonight. It’s thoughts like how vulnerable Yuta is right now. There’s so many simple ways that Jaehyun could put Yuta in extreme distress. From not removing all the air from the extension tube to poking into the wrong vein, Yuta is trusting Jaehyun with a lot here. He gets a sense of power from this; the ability to harm someone who’s given him another level of trust. It’s empowering with a tinge of psychotic. But Jaehyun doesn’t linger on it as he thumbs over the edge of the tape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s such a strange feeling,” Yuta comments, curling his fingers and looking at the IV. “It feels like there’s liquid running down my arm.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s certainly strange,” Jaehyun agrees. He begins to clean up and throws away all the single use items before turning back to Yuta, a question resting on the tip of his tongue. “Would you mind if I took a picture? I need proof that I did it right.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing, man.” Yuta runs his free hand through his hair, ruffling it up even more. Jaehyun is tempted to fix Yuta’s hair, but he ignores the urge and peels off his gloves instead. He pulls out his phone from the pocket of his lab coat, opening the camera and allowing it to focus before clicking the white circle. There’s a shuttering sound, breaking up the silence. Yuta reaches for the tape and Jaehyun frowns, grabbing Yuta’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do it, don’t worry,” Jaehyun says and Yuta doesn’t argue. Even though Yuta’s hands are objectively clean, Jaehyun would feel weird if Yuta did it and he didn’t. He would never allow a real patient to remove their own IV, which is how he rationalizes the action to himself. Yuta’s eyes move away from the IV and start to latch onto Jaehyun. “Do you share your dorm with anyone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a roommate, yeah,” Yuta says. “Decently annoying, but he’s much better than my previous roommate.” Jaehyun hums as he eases out the needle. “Dejun Xiao? You might know him; music major in the performing arts building.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds somewhat familiar.” He sets the needle down along with the saline tube on the gray paper. “All done.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Yuta flashes Jaehyun a smile and reaches for the band aid Jaehyun left out for him. “I better get back. Who knows what sort of trouble Dejun has gotten up too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.” Jaehyun nods as he finishes cleaning up the lab, yet Yuta lingers for a moment and the question of his true motivations for agreeing this are once again brought up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Jaehyun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” He looks up at Yuta from under his lashes, seeing hope fizzle through him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it isn’t too much trouble--” Oh boy. “Could you possibly help me study for midterms?” Yuta asks. He looks a bit desperate which isn’t a quality Jaehyun gains any sympathy from. But Yuta has potential. Jaehyun can see it in him and he’s much better for things like this than some of the others in this class. “I’ll buy you dinner or something, if that would help convince you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not necessary.” Jaehyun straightens up and thinks it over. He does have to do some review himself anyway. “We can study this weekend, but not at my place.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much.” Yuta gets off the examination table and pulls a pen and slip of paper from his pocket, quickly scribbling down something. “I’m cool with meeting when and wherever, just text me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool,” Jaehyun says. The word feels quite foreign on his tongue as he takes the slip of paper from Yuta, looking at the way he wrote his number. Yuta smiles again at Jaehyun in thanks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you this weekend.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have a nice night,” Jaehyun calls as Yuta leaves the lab.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too!” The door clicks shut behind Yuta, leaving Jaehyun in the silent lab once again. His thoughts buzz around in his mind now that he doesn’t have a reason to keep the bubble around and finishes cleaning everything up in record time, locking the door before leaving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>%</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun doesn’t freak out easily. But finding his apartment door unlocked when he’s sure that he locked it, certainly makes him nervous. He isn’t the type to forget important details, one of the reasons he’s so apt at medicine, so someone must have broken the lock. He steps in and closes the door behind him with a soft click and walking into the living room, bracing for anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaehyun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stares at Taeyong who’s barely even paying attention to the TV screen in front of him, dark shadows showing more than normal with the blue light. Jaehyun removes his shoes and sets his bag down, looking at Taeyong carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re back early,” Jaehyun states. Taeyong smiles, and reaches toward the table for his fresh cup of coffee, taking a sip. Jaehyun sighs when he realizes what’s going on. “You’ve got another shift soon.” It’s not an accusation but it’s bordering on disappointment and Taeyong lets that go right over his head as his bright eyes don’t dim at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is one of the higher-paying jobs, and they’re offering double for me to work the night shift last minute,” Taeyong admits. He cringes at the bitter aftertaste of his coffee. It’s black, unlike the more milky sweet type of coffee that Taeyong prefers to drink, but he can’t afford to keep buying the creamer he likes, so he stole packets of sweetener from his day job at a restaurant. “Too good to pass up. Might even give me some extra cash after this month’s bills.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun has been trying to offer help to Taeyong for months. They live together and it’s in Jaehyun’s best interest for them to be able to pay rent. But Taeyong has a strong moral against taking any of his money no matter how desperate he might be, which Jaehyun thinks is absolutely stupid. Taeyong works ridiculous hours and one of these days it’s going to kill him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’re still sending money to your family, right?” Jaehyun asks, pulling off his lab coat. Taeyong’s expression drops and he frowns, taking another sip of coffee. “I don’t get why you do.” Jaehyun brings this issue up every once and a while and every time it ends the exact same way. “They kicked you out and basically disowned you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong flinches. He doesn’t like to be reminded what his family did to him, but Jaehyun sees it as necessary if he’s ever going to get through to Taeyong. Reason and logic haven’t worked, so he’s moved to hitting below the belt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s meant for my sister. She wants to go to college and actually make something of herself. I don’t want to see her end up like me.” Jaehyun purses his lips. This is new information and while this puts things in a new light, it doesn’t really change how he feels about Taeyong sending money. If anything, he pities Taeyong more, but he knows that Taeyong has his reasons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m going to get some sleep,” Jaehyun says. “Make sure you lock the door when you leave for your shift.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can do,” Taeyong breaths out, eyes glossing over. Jaehyun frowns and idles for a moment, but once Taeyong realizes that Jaehyun is still standing there, he stands and grabs a cigarette, his jacket and his keys. “Goodnight, Jaehyun.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Goodnight,” Jaehyun mumbles, offering a small wave that Taeyong doesn’t return. The door slams shut behind him and Jaehyun sighs, waiting for Taeyong’s footsteps to disappear before walking into their bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their apartment is only two rooms really. One living room area with a tiny kitchenette and a reasonably sized bedroom that is split down the middle between Taeyong and Jaehyun. Jaehyun gets into his bed and can’t help but look at Taeyong’s bed across the room. His bed is always perfectly made, but only because he’s not there half of the time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rhythmic pattern of rainfall beats against Jaehyun’s window repeatedly until he can get anywhere close to sleep. His thoughts focus mainly on midterms, but here and there a thought of Taeyong will pop in. Jaehyun tries to bring the white noise bubble back, and finally it comes, the sounds of nothing lulling him to sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. THE POINT OF NO RETURN</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jaehyun meets Sicheng and removes Dejun</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>cws: blood, explainations of organic chemistry (that's a joke but fr i hate chem </p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Today is another day. Nothing special about it. There’s a shining sun, but there’s also grey clouds looming overhead. Pretty average of a day, though there’s the promise of rain in the clouds which is technically special. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun is out enjoying the minimal sun, being one of few people who actually enjoy overcast days and sits down at the bus stop. He doesn’t put in headphones, not being a big fan of music. The sounds of the city buzzing around him are plenty. It’s a natural version of his white noise bubble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bus pulls up and out walks one of the most beautiful people Jaehyun has ever laid his eyes on. Sure, Taeyong is beautiful, but all of his stress makes that beauty wilt. The stranger in front of him is dressed in dance clothes with slightly damp hair and chatting into his headphones. Under his arm is a bright purple skateboard, covered in stickers which Jaehyun finds his eyes drawn to simply because it’s being held by such an attractive stranger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m on my way from contemporary class,” he says and Jaehyun takes particular note of the way his voice sounds. He isn’t a native speaker, but he has such a unique way of speaking that makes Jaehyun twitch to examine him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then Jaehyun remembers why he’s even here and jumps up, and gets on the bus. He really shouldn’t let a stranger, attractive or not, distract him from his objectives. He takes a seat down on the bus and lets out a sigh, looking out the window and watching the buildings pass. His routine won’t be broken by someone who he doesn’t even know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s going to his morning class and then he’s meeting up with Yuta somewhere. Yuta said he’d text him the address and said that he could pick Jaehyun up if he needed to, which is probably unnecessary, but a nice thing to offer. Jaehyun reaches for his phone to see if Yuta’s texted him yet but he can’t find his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun sighs and double checks all his pockets and his bag before coming to the conclusion that he left his phone on the bus bench. He would have picked it back up if he hadn’t seen that beautiful stranger. Cursed pretty people. Jaehyun leans his head against the window behind him and thinks over the best plan here. He can’t be late for class which is his first priority, but then he has no idea how he’ll meet with Yuta. Yuta is aware of where his class is and maybe if he doesn’t answer then he’ll simply assume that Jaehyun needs a ride.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That isn’t promising though. Jaehyun will have to see if anyone in that class has a phone he can borrow and hope that he remembers Yuta’s number. He memorizes lots of things, it's basically habit now, and Yuta’s number stands out in his mind with the way all of his letters look on paper, but still a small hum of doubt burns in the back of his mind. If he could forget his phone, he could easily forget a phone number.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun stares out the window. There is nothing he can do right now about his phone and he only has to ride for three more stops before he’ll already be at his class. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bus ride feels like it’s dragging on forever and Jaehyun internally groans every time that someone takes more than a few seconds to get on or off the bus. Please plan things better and be more efficient. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets to his class on time as per usual and once he’s in the building doesn’t even think about anything not related to his classwork. The white noise bubble is back on and doesn’t allow for even the slightest worry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>%</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After class ends, Jaehyun doesn’t actually need to come up with a plan as he spots Yuta from his car and waves before walking over. He climbs in the passenger seat of Yuta’s car and breathes out a breath. It’s so much warmer in Yuta’s car and he can’t help but linger in the heat for a moment before starting a conversation with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you figured out I lost my phone?” Jaehyun has a feeling that Yuta was smart enough to put pieces together, but he isn’t entirely sure. Just because he has potential in the medical field doesn’t mean he has that much logic and problem solving skills in the real world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I called you, actually, and someone else answered,” Yuta admits. “We’re headed to a tea shop to study and the guy who found your phone, Sicheng, agreed to meet us there and give you your phone.” Jaehyun can’t help but feel relieved. He normally wouldn’t want to study at a tea shop since it’s not a calm environment, but he won’t say anything to Yuta today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that's good.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you even manage to lose it?” Yuta asks and Jaehyun bites his lip. He doesn’t want to explain this to Yuta right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got distracted and left it on the bench by the bus,” Jaehyun admits, not meeting Yuta’s eyes but Jaehyun can feel the curious smile on Yuta’s expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I get that.” Yuta starts the car and Jaehyun is relieved for the excuse to change the subject. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, where’s this tea shop?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s downtown and they have the best tea there. It’s super chill don’t worry; I’ve gone there tons of times to study.” That doesn’t really ease Jaehyun’s mind as Yuta needs help with studying to begin with but he bites his tongue. He’s mostly ready for his midterms, this is just an investment in the second semester where he’ll need to borrow Yuta for more things. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their drive is mostly quiet except for the humming of the car which Jaehyun doesn’t mind. He thinks about what would probably be the most useful for them to review. He has his Forensic Science 303 textbook with him along with his Medical Chemistry one, so if they need to review anything else, Yuta better have the necessary materials. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta parks in front of Kim’s Tea Room, a hole in the wall sort of place, but it looks promising. Jaehyun climbs out and grabs his backpack, waiting for Yuta to lock the car before walking inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The walls are a soft lavender and it smells of tea leaves which is to be expected. There’s tables along the left wall and a few in the front corner on the right. There’s a dark bar where someone behind the counter makes drinks. Should be perfectly fine for studying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta sits down near the bar but on the left side, so they are away from the windows and door which Jaehyun appreciates. There’s no reason to be by either of them as it will only lead to distractions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what are you struggling with the most?” Jaehyun asks, sitting down across from Yuta. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Organic Chemistry,” Yuta replies, reaching into his bag to pull out his notebook and textbook. Jaehyun is pleased to see that his notebook looks well worn. He reaches across the table to grab it and thumb through the pages, seeing plenty of detailed notes that have obviously been reviewed more than once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I was worried you didn’t really know anything, but this gives us a place to start at least,” Jaehyun muses. Organic Chemistry is well known to be the seventh circle of hell among med students and while Jaehyun is the exception, enjoying the challenge of it, he gets why out of all the subjects, this is the one that people would struggle with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I get a good chunk of the stuff, but the electron pushing diagrams make zero sense and I know there’s going to be one of those on the test.” Yuta fishes around in his bag to pull out some scratch paper and pens. Jaehyun takes one of the pens and a piece of scratch paper, tongue between his teeth as he thinks of how best to explain this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you start by explaining to me what you do know and then I’ll fill in the gaps,” Jaehyun suggests.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, well, I know that the curved arrows are drawn on to show the reaction mechanism. They are to show the movement of electrons because they don’t move around neatly y’know. It’s also used in relation to positive and negative charges are distributed around organic molecules through resonance.” Jaehyun frowns. That’s a perfect explanation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what don’t you get?” Jaehyun questions, brows furrowing as he stares down at the blank piece of paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How to draw them. I know what they are, but I don’t know how to take that explanation and turn it into a picture.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I’ll walk you through a problem then--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yuta?” Jaehyun turns his head toward the door to see the same beautiful man who made him forget his phone to begin with standing breathless in the doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you must be Sicheng,” Yuta says, standing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sicheng.</span>
  </em>
  <span> What a fitting name. Jaehyun looks up at Sicheng, trying not to let his eyes linger anywhere too long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I am.” Sicheng shoves his hand in his pocket and then turns to Jaehyun. “So you must be Jaehyun.” There’s no question about it and Jaehyun stands to take his phone from Sicheng. Their fingers brush and Jaehyun feels electricity run up his spine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should just be lucky that someone else didn’t find your phone,” Sicheng says, shaking his head slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really glad it was you.” The words fall from Jaehyun’s mouth without him thinking about them, causing him to bite his tongue. Sicheng smiles at that and everything else falls away. Jaehyun’s fingers twitch by his side and he can’t help the next words out of his mouth. “Can I buy you a cup of tea for your trouble?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You bet you can.” Sicheng smiles at Jaehyun and he feels his heart stop. Not literally of course because then he’d be dead. But there’s still that funny feeling in his chest nonetheless. “I like Earl Gray tea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun walks up to the counter, seemingly forgetting what he was supposed to be explaining to Yuta and orders an earl gray, along with a cup of matcha tea for himself. He catches a look at Yuta in the mirror behind the counter and turns his head, a silent ask if he wants anything. Yuta shakes his head and Jaehyun pays for his drinks before sitting back down, now with Sicheng sitting next to him. His phone is sitting on the table, so Jaehyun pockets it, not about to make the same mistake twice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sicheng, I know you don’t know this, but me and Jaehyun are in medical school,” Yuta says to explain all the papers in front of them. Sicheng leans over to look into Yuta’s notebook and nods appreciatively. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea what any of that means, but cool. Jaehyun bought me some tea and I don’t have to be anywhere for like an hour, so could I sit in?” Sicheng asks. “I promise I’ll be quiet.” Yuta looks to Jaehyun to decide. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s not a big deal,” Jaehyun answers, even though it very much would be a big deal when Jaehyun won’t be able to say a single coherent sentence with Sicheng’s perfectly round, big, sparkly eyes on him. But it’s okay. He can do this. Sicheng is just a human body. Nothing special or unique really-- Sicheng shifts in his seat and his loose shirt falls forward and Jaehyun makes direct eye contact with his chest. Yeah, he doesn’t got this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun bites his tongue as he tries to figure out a way to stall enough so he can concentrate and make a diagram for Yuta without feeling like his hands are going to shake. Normally, Jaehyun’s hands are still and only do as he says, but now they twitch to examine Sicheng. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to set up a sample problem for Yuta,” Jaehyun begins. “But that’s not very interesting, so tell me, where do you go to school?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I go to the local school here and study dance,” Sicheng says and Jaehyun keeps his eyes laser focused on the paper in front of him, drawing a hydrogen molecule then an arrow with HBr, hydrogen bromide, across the top before drawing said molecule on the other side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s interesting,” Yuta chimes in, tapping his fingers on the table which Jaehyun would normally get on him for, but today is an unusual occurrence. “Any particular focus?” Jaehyun is done drawing the sample, yet he doesn’t say anything, mostly because he wants to hear Sicheng’s answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really like contemporary dance, but I also do quite a bit of ballet.” Jaehyun nods along and turns the paper around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Yuta, you obviously know what this is, so I just want to see you do the first step. Label with TS1 as needed,” Jaehyun says and Sicheng closes his mouth and watches with awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I expand it, right?” While not the technical term for the first step, Yuta is describing the same thing, so Jaehyun nods again and allows Yuta to write it out. He feels Sicheng’s eyes on him and makes the mistake of looking up, making eye contact with Sicheng who doesn’t feel like looking away. They’re just staring into each others’ eyes, the white noise bubble falling into place even though Jaehyun didn’t ask for it to, all until their order is called and Yuta turns the paper back around to have Jaehyun check his work. The bubble pops.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can grab our tea,” Sicheng offers before standing up and bounding over to the counter. Jaehyun turns his attention to the paper in front of him and checks it over. All correct. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good job,” Jaehyun mumbles, eyes still looking at the paper as a way to recover from Sicheng’s undivided attention moments earlier. “So then what happens? You get to TS3 with this one.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, right.” Yuta takes back the paper and pauses as he recalls what to draw. Jaehyun knows he isn’t being the most helpful of tutors right now, but he really can’t help it, as his mind is begging him to think about all the ways he could-- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here you go.” Sicheng sets down their teacups gently and Jaehyun gets a moment to really look at his knobbly fingers, how long they are, how they bend to hold onto the cup. Fingers aren’t even something Jaehyun gets excited by usually, yet here he is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a TV on behind Sicheng that Jaehyun hadn’t noticed before. He had been too wrapped up in trying to explain things to Yuta and getting his phone back. This is a weird day. The newscaster is talking about a recently solved murder case, but there’s no captions, so Jaehyun can only inferr what exactly is being said. The case itself brings a dark thought to Jaehyun’s mind which he doesn’t linger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he makes it through studying with Yuta who leaves before Jaehyun has to. He has no grand plans for the day, so he stays for a bit to talk and observe Sicheng. Sicheng gives him his number, which only adds on to that dark little impulse about how easy it would be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So when Jaehyun leaves Kim’s Tea Shop, he takes a longer route home than normal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There isn’t a single thought in his mind as he picks up the knife. It’s not about hurting him. It’s about first hand learning more so. It’s not like his victim  is doing anything productive with his life. Here he is, glove covered hands soaked in sticky maroon. He almost wishes that he weren’t wearing gloves to feel the blood on his hands. Standing over his victim with a knife in his hand, Jaehyun stares into his the glassy eyes of Dejun.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <a href="https://twitter.com/occultclysms">Twitter</a>
  <br/>
  <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/carrotyeol">Curious Cat</a>
</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you liked it or if you have a theory about where this is going-- drop a comment wink wonk </p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/occultclysms">Twitter</a><br/><a href="https://curiouscat.qa/carrotyeol">Curious Cat</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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